Game Log 18

Soap Is 99 and 44/100 Percent Damned Souls
Mantis announced importantly, "I think we need to make soap." He said this confidently despite the blank stares of the other heroes. After a year of him being the new stead shaman, they were well used to him coming up with outlandish ideas.

Ryala, predictably, was unafraid of asking questions. "What the hell is 'soap'?"

"I'm glad you asked! It's a delightful substance that cleans and refreshes. It promotes good health, prevents disease spirits, enhances personal intimacy, fosters communication, enriches the general environment..."

Mankar held up a hand. "Stop already, it's good stuff. Fine. How can we get some?"

"Make, not get. It gets used up so it's better if we can make our own." He, with much additional information from Astra, proposed three soap mythos: Pelorian, Dara Happan and the Holy Country. (Will be filled in by Jim as I don't have all the details!)

Ryala frowned, "All those stories are filled with death, destruction or at least a lot of pain. Not that I'm opposed to that necessarily but is it really worth it?"

Mankar mused while rubbing his chin. "There are some common elements. Maybe we can forge a different technique that involves fewer corpses. Or if corpses are absolutely necessary, maybe animals rather than people."

After much discussion, it was decided that the important mystic elements was either magical water or a magic item that could be drained of its essence. Unexpectedly, the village elder had a suggestion. "You are creating your own myth but it doesn't have to be so simple as that! Even including extraneous elements can enhance it and also make it harder for others to steal your methods. You need something magical and powerful to deter others... why not hunt up a magisaur? It might be mystically potent enough to even fuel the creation of this 'soap' without having to sacrifice any other magic. I've heard there's even a magisaur graveyard if you don't want to tackle a live one."

Aud said quietly, "Won't the Dragonewts be upset by that?"

Mankar quickly agreed. "They probably would be! Still, we can probably get scales or dung or something to enhance the myth."

Ryala quickly cut in, "I do NOT care how precious this stuff is, I'm not dealing with any more poop!"

Mantis cleared his throat, "That probably won't be necessary. At any rate, there are dinosaurs near vulture rock so there is very likely to be a magisaur or two. Also, if you need a boon from Icethorn, he's there as well."

Mankar perked up. "That's an interesting suggestion. I think I'll talk to this god and see what he has to grant."

The heroes' trip to Vulture Rock was easily accomplished with Rocky's help. Strangely, for a god that was being pulled relentlessly northward, there was a clear trail leading south from his old position. A few hundred paces away, they found the cold diety who seemed to be in fine spirits. "Welcome, my friends!"

Mantis asked, "How did you come to be so far southward?"

"Worship of course! I have some now as they appreciate my ability to combat the oppressive heat of this wretched jungle." He looked at the youngsters, "Have you also come to worship? I'm accepting new lay members even now!"

"Actually, yes. I hear you have spells related to cold and ice..." Mankar spoke with the Icethorn for several minutes before he bowed with a smile.

Astra asked, "So, what did you get?"

"An emergency rune spell that can freeze a large area. Likely very good against dinosaurs and other heat-loving creatures but I can only use it once. But even better, a new battle magic spell!" He waved his hand and wall of ice appeared. It was six feet tall, ten wide and around four feet thick."

"That's great. Really."

"Don't look down on it! In a corridor or enclosed area it could be a good defense or allow people to escape pursuers. In hot seasons, a block of ice can cool down an area nicely. And, if nothing else, it's a supply of fresh water. Well, in a solid form, but it'll melt of course."

Aud smiled at his enthusiasm, "So you are a lay member then?"

"Yes, but his requirements aren't too strict and it doesn't conflict with any Lightbringers. Well, Yelmalions might object but who cares about that?"

"Well, they were never likely to love you so nothing lost."

Mantis rubbed his hands together. "Enough of this... soap awaits!"

The jungle was much the same though they carefully avoided the vampire-infested areas. Fortunately, most normal creatures, dinosaurs included, also stayed away from the dead forest. What they did encounter, surprised them even more than a vampire attack!

A long carvan was tramping through the growth, led by puffing men swinging machetes. As those in the lead tired, they were replaced by others. There were sedan chairs, large wagons, sturdy mounts and more! The luggage bearers, machete swingers and sedan chair lifters were all from local tribes (as made obvious by their garb) but the others stood out from the mix. Two women rode in luxury on the sedan chairs. Their seats were shaded by colorful cloths and they were chatting in some foreign tongue. Behind them a chubby man that looked like a merchant and a few others were riding though in much less comfort. At the front, just behind the machete-men, was a tall and strong-looking fellow. All their clothing was outlandish in the extreme and even the well-read Astra didn't recognize it. Their bodies and mounts were draped with odd devices and what could only be weapons but of an unknown design and usage.

The man in front stomped up to the heroes, easily looking down on all of them except for Mankar. In the local language, though highly accented, he pronounced. "Rejoice! You have been chosen as packbearers of the Most Sacred Eschellian Hunting Force by me, Sir Ethig! You each shall receive shiny silver disks and a magic sword! You will be given food that is both tasty and free from parasites! Plus you will have the unique opportunity to see your betters and perhaps raise your knowledge of the world. Yes, you can talk of this day to your grandchildren and regale them with the wonders of the civilized world!"

The other locals rolled their eyes (out of sight of the knight). Mankar was about to tell him off but was stopped by Mantis. The shaman whispered, "Even a cheap magic sword can be made into soap."

Continuing his spiel as if no one else had spoken, Sir Ethig said, "Even more importantly, we recognize that you have no skills in any superior language even if you barely literate so we will also give you this device that will translate texts to whatever benighted scribblings you prefer!"

Astra was practically salivating over the odd looking floating disk with two sides that was supposedly the translating device.

Mankar said winningly, "Your offer is generous. Perhaps you might also have books on Sorcery that my friend might translate since you won't lose them in the end?"

"Certainly! I also have several chests of baubles and trinkets that can brighten your lives! You can pick out a few each and it will enhance your mating chances!"

Mankar gritted his teeth. "No, no. The books are fine."

Luggage was re-distributed (Mankar handled quite a bit of it himself so Aud and Astra wouldn't have to). The book given, when translated, was titled, "Sorcery for Complete Primitives and one called Now You're Three, Cast With Me!"

From talking to the others, the heroes discovered that these people were on a 'safari' and wanted to shoot dinosaurs and had arrived recently.

Soon, they heard the sounds of very, very, very large dinosaurs over a nearby hill. The tourists pulled out inscribed wands and prepared for the fight. Sir Ethig also unlimbered a weapon, though it was completely different from those of the others. Showing surprisingly little caution, the carvan crested the hill. They raised their weapons to fire.

Said concisely, it was a complete disaster.

At first, things went well. One of the women was a fair shot and took out two dinosaurs herself with the one-shot weapons. Either that, or she was quite lucky. It only took one hit per wand to completely kill anything it touch. Unfortunately, the other 'hunters' weren't quite so skilled. The other woman had her wand backwards and managed to kill herself and all her palanquin bearers. The chubby merchant shot off his own leg and fell in the six-foot crater he created. The others blasted in all directions as if the forty-foot tall brontosauruses were invisible and hiding in the underbrush on all sides other than directly in front of the group.

Sir Ethig watched the chaos calmly, keeping most of his attention on the dinosaur herd. His eyes lit up when he saw a magisaur come out from behind one of the larger dinos. While his job was guiding these clueless newcomers around, his passion was for a true hunt and he was prepared to enjoy himself fully!

For the locals, things were, if possible, even less rosy. Ones that hadn't been blasted by the woman tourist had been trampled, shot by others, or, in the case of Ryala, squashed by falling dinosaur bodies! In a way, she was lucky as she happened to be a perfect juncture so that they formed a tiny pocket when they collapsed on top of her. Before the many, many tons of weight could collapse her safety zone, she shouted, "Rise, oh dead, rise! Turn from the grave and serve me! Heed not the call of Death and hear only my words!"

The dinosaurs paused in their inevitable path to crushing her and slowly righted themselves. Several bloody stains, tiny when compared to the bulk of the beasts, showed where others hadn't been as luck.

Sit Ethig, who had been guiding the other tourists in taking down the Magisaur, saw this feat and grew intrigued. "Hah? How fascinating and dangerous. I must bring this specimen back for further study!" His eyes were on Ryala the whole time, making it obvious what and who he was referring to. He fiddled with some settings on his weapon and took aim at Ryala. The colors around the barrel were a different hue and glowing with magical brilliance.

Not willing to wait for sweet reason to convince the hunter, Mankar immediately shot a bolt at Ethig. Unfortunately, he had layers of defenses and stout armor to block such attacks. Ethig's weapon discharged and the tangled orange ball of energy expanded into a net that neatly caught the warrioress before she could react.

In the meantime, Mantis had managed to woo the surviving female tourist. Though they didn't share a spoken language, they obviously managed to communicate. Aud, for her part, saw the suffering of the magisaur who had been finally knocked unconscious. While she didn't have any particular relationship to the creature, it WAS a distant associate (through the Dragonewts) and the actions of the tourists displeased her mightily. Using her invisibility ring, she quietly snuck over and repeated healed the magisaur. The being woke up during the ministrations but chose to hide the fact and also to give time for the little healer to escape the field of combat.

Mankar and Sir Ethig stared at each other over the field while Ryala freed herself. The hunter looked into the young man's eyes and didn't see a trace of fear there. His instincts and experience told him that he could win but there was always the odd chance that the barbarian could get lucky. He called out to his lackeys, "Resurrect our guests!" He then turned to the heroes. "You five do not please the magnificent I! You are dismissed henceforth." After a very slight pause, he added, "Of course, you will return the translator."

Mankar snorted. "Is that how it works in 'civilization'? You made promises and choose not to keep them? You one-sidedly fired us after we did everything we were ordered to do.  Perhaps you can explain this in details so we primitives can understand it?"

The hunter paused as he had been caught in the wrong. If it were not for his clients staring at him, he would have blasted the youngster where he stood. "Hmph. Keep the toy, I care not!"

Mankar, obviously realizing all this beforehand just bowed.

They took their leave from the much-reduced hunting party. The Eschellians had raised their own but left the locals to rot in the muddy, bloody ground. More than half of the packbearers were dead.

Aud sighed after they were well away. "So much death..."

Mankar agreed but also laughed. "We are alive, though, so have some good cheer! And our rewards were not small, either."

In addition to the promised silvers, they had recovered over 800 lunars of treasure from the battlefield. They also had the promised five magic swords (which were far inferior to what they possessed already). The real treasure, however, was acquired by Mantis. Apparently, he had enough time to thoroughly seduce the woman hunter and returned with six of the wands and some actual soap! The ingredients were listed on the side of the box that they came in and involved no esoteric ingredients. Each of them got a largish piece of soap with the remainder going to Mantis.

After they returned home, they found Astra's 'husband' waiting for them. "Well met! I hear you were going to kill a magisaur or something foolish like that."

Mankar laughed. "Nothing quite THAT stupid, but we had an interesting time. Do you have news?"

The other man grimaced. "Parvis is closer to finishing his heroquest preparations and needs followers to lift his boat. It will involve no great effort on your part, and there are solid benefits. Hilt to sword, though, you have to be in his presence for at least a time."

"We've put up with worse."

His expression didn't change. "You'll find out..."